很棒的一篇文章，不仅仅对于我们教育孩子及亲子沟通会有所帮助，也对我们调整人生的心态很有益处，特与朋友们分享！
很多时候，能够缓解调整心中的愤怒、避免一触即发的冲突，我们才会有机会去体验人生中更多的温情与快乐！一起来努力吧！
特感谢分享此文的博友种子已发芽！
种子已发芽 的 口袋里的鹅卵石（7）当我们生气时
When We Are Angry
当不开心的事情发生时，你可能会很生气或烦恼。你可能想大叫或哭泣。也许你的兄弟姐妹做了你不喜欢的事或说了你不喜欢的话。要是你能平静地问兄弟姐妹：“你为什么那么做？”，那会更好。但是当你非常生气时，通常你只想要对对方大吼大叫或哭泣。
When something unpleasant happens, you may become very angry or upset. You may feel like screaming or crying. Maybe your sister or brother does or says something you do not like. It would be better if you could calmly ask your sister or brother, “Why did you do that?” But when you are very angry, usually you just want to scream at the other person or cry.
因为我们觉得受到了伤害，我们想要说一些话或者做一些事来伤害那个伤害了我们的人。我们以为，对他或她说一些无情的话，我们就会觉得好受一点。但是当我们说出那些伤人的话以后，那个人会找到更无情的话来说。没人知道该怎么停下来。
Because we feel hurt, we want to say or do something to hurt that person back. We think that by saying something cruel back to him or her, we will feel better. But when we say hurtful words back, that person will look for something even more cruel to say. And neither person knows how to stop.
当有人让你生气时，最好不要用言语来反击他。第一件事，是停下来，把注意力转回到你自己的呼吸上。那就是我所做的事情。我对自己说：“吸气，我知道我在生气。呼气，我还在生气。”我继续像这样呼吸三到四次，通常我就心里会有一些细微的变化。内心的愤怒在软化。
When someone makes you angry, it is better not to respond with words. The first thing to do is to stop and return to your breathing. That’s what I do. I say, “Breathing in, I know I am angry. Breathing out, anger is still there.” I continue to breathe like this for three or four breaths, and then usually there is a slight change in me, a softening of the anger inside.
我们能够学习这种不给我们和周围的人带来不愉快的方式。我们能够学习把不开心的事情变成让人高兴的事。但是，这需要一些练习。也许我们在学校里学到了很多东西，但我们没有机会学习如何变得快乐和如何少受一些苦。
We can learn how to act in a way that does not create unhappiness for ourselves or those around us. We can learn to change an unhappy situation into a joyful on
e. It requires some practice, however. Even though we learn a lot at school, we do not have the opportunity to learn how to be happy or how to suffer less. 愤怒是我们的一部分。我们不应该在生气时假装不生气。我们需要学习的，是如何照顾好我们的愤怒。照顾好愤怒的一个好办法，就是停下来把注意力转回到呼吸上。
Our anger is a part of us. We should not pretend that we are not angry when in fact we are angry. What we need to learn is how to take care of our anger. A good way of take good care of our anger is to stop and return to our breathing.
把你的愤怒当成你的小弟弟或妹妹。无论你的小弟弟或小妹妹做了什么，你都必须用爱和温柔来对待他们，就像妈妈安慰哭泣的宝宝一样。
Think of your anger as your little baby brother or sister. No matter what your baby brother or sister has done, you need to treat him or her with tenderness and love, in the same way that a mother comforts her crying baby.
当宝宝哭泣时，妈妈会把宝宝搂在怀里让他哭，用爱和温柔来拥抱他。一点一点地，宝宝变得越来越平静，最后停止了哭泣。妈妈没有强迫宝宝停止哭泣，她温柔和平静地包容了他。
When her baby is crying, a mother takes the baby in her arms and let him cry. While at the same time she embraces him with love and tenderness. Little by little, the baby becomes calmer, until finally he stops crying altogether. She does not force the baby to stop crying, she envelops him with tenderness and calm.
爱和温柔，这也应该是你对待愤怒的方式。当你生气时，对自己说：
吸气，我知道我在生气。
呼气，我在好好照顾自己的愤怒。
当你像这样呼吸和说了这些时，你可能还觉得生气。但你是安全的，因为你正像妈妈拥抱哭泣的宝宝那样包容你的愤怒。这样做了一会以后，你的心情会开始平复下来，就能对着你的愤怒微笑了：
吸气，我看到我心里的愤怒。
呼气，我对着我的愤怒微笑。
当我们像这样照顾好我们的愤怒时，我们是“觉照的”。觉照就像阳光。阳光毫不费力地照耀在每样东西上，而每样东西都因阳光而改变。当我们把我们的愤怒曝露在觉照的光明下，我们也会改变，就像花朵向着阳光开放。
This is how you should treat your anger, too, with love and tenderness. When you are angry, say:
Breathing in, I know that I am angry.
Breathing out, I am taking good care of my anger.
While you are breathing and saying this, you may still be angry. But you are safe, because you are embracing your anger the way a mother embraces her crying baby. After doing this for a while, your temper will begin to calm down and you will be able to smile at your anger:
Breathing in, I see anger in me.
Breathing out, I smile at my anger.
When we take care of our anger like this, we are being “mindful”. Mindfulness acts just like the rays of the sun. Without any effort, the sun shines on everything and everything changes because of it. When we expose our anger to the light of mindfulness, we will change, too, like a flower opening to the sun.
有时当我们生气时，很难想起停下来观照呼吸。我知道一个在生气或难过时记得停下来观照呼吸的好办法。首先，去散散步，找一颗你喜欢的鹅卵石。然后，如果有佛像就坐在佛像旁边，没有佛像就到户外去找一棵特别的树或一块特别的石头坐下，或者回到你的房间里。把鹅卵石拿在手里说：
亲爱的佛，
这里是我的鹅卵石。
当我在生命中遇到问题的时候，我将要用它来练习。不管我是生气或难过，我都会把这颗鹅卵石拿在我手里，深呼吸。我会一直这样做下去，直到我平静下来。
Sometimes when we become angry during the day, it is different to remember to stop and breathe. I know a good way for you to remember to stop and breathe when you are angry or upset. First, go for a walk and find a pebble that you like. Then, go sit near the Buddha, if there is on
e in your house, or outside under a special tree or on a special rock, or go to your room. With the pebble in your hand, say: Dear Buddha,
Here is my pebble.
I am going to practice with it when things go wrong in my day. Whenever I am angry or upset, I will take the pebble in my hand and breathe deeply. I will do this until I calm down.
现在，把你的鹅卵石放进口袋里，不管去哪里都带上它。当发生让你不开心的事情时，把手放进口袋里，抓住你的鹅卵石，深深地呼吸，对自己说：“吸气，我知道我生气了。呼气，我在好好照顾我的愤怒。”这样反复做下去，直到你感觉好一点，能够对着自己的愤怒微笑。
Now put your pebble in your pocket and take it with you wherever you go. When something happens during the day that makes you unhappy, put your hand in your pocket, take hold of the pebble, breathe deeply, and say to yourself, “Breathing in, I know I am angry. I know I am angry. Breathing out, I am taking good care of my anger.” Do this until you feel a lot better and can smile to your anger.
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